Maybe assuming only other people are the victims of an untimely death comes from living a life where no one they cherish has been taken from this planet, decades before the average. Or maybe they are just dumb.
While I can understand there are many in this world that would never be happy living an average, ordinary life, why must they subject themselves to situations that pose incredibly high probabilities of death? Like say, Himalayan peak mountain climbing.
Never in my life has it seemed like a good idea to climb to heights that require you to bring your own oxygen. I am a big fan of oxygen and I prefer to stay in conditions where carrying my own is not required. The chances of dying an an attempt to summit Mt. Everest is staggering. According to Wikipedia, "Curiously, 1996 was statistically a safe year for Everest climbers. Before 1996, one in four climbers had died making the ascent; 1996 saw huge numbers of people attempting the climb and the statistics for 1996 revel that only one in seven died" So in an average year, you have a 25% chance of dying. Dying!
Any who, so last week, this professor from Western Kentucky University, Dr. John All, fell through a crevasse on Mt. Himlung in Nepal. Haven't heard of Mount Himlung you say? Well, when access to Mt. Everest is understandably shut down last month due to an avalanche that took the lives of 16 sherpa you have to make do. Given there are few employment opportunities in the higher elevations of Nepal, these sherpas feed their families by risking their own lives to schlep the crap of citizens of industrialized nations (okay, most of them Americans and Europeans!) to the top of a mountain. In an ironic twist, that I consider to be a sign from the universe, one of the sherpas that perished in that avalanche was on All's team. Did that deter him from making this attempt? Nope.
In what appears to be another unbelievable part of this story, the professor (sounds a bit like Gilligan's Island, doesn't it, but I have to believe that the professor on Gilligan's Island would never have attempted these shenanigans) appeared to be climbing by himself. Who in the hell does this?! At what point does one make the decision that climbing one of the highest peaks in the tallest mountain range in the world by yourself, is a rational idea?! Hasn't he heard of the buddy system?!
Well, it doesn't go so well for the professor as his 240 lb. human body plunges into a 70 foot deep crevasse. After dislocating both shoulders, sustaining internal injuries, and breaking 5 ribs and one arm, what did he do next you ask? Well, logically he pulls out his smart phone to make a video of the scene. Folks,I.am.not.lying. Locating and dislodging his smart phone out of his pack or pocket, or wherever it was at that point, with two dislocated shoulders and a broken arm would seem to be a logistical miracle at that point but he did it. For those smart phone users out there, you know how much battery power is consumed while creating a video. If I were stuck 70 feet below the surface of a Himalayan mountain peak (I think I just laughed out loud just now) I can tell you for certain, using my battery power making a video for posterity would be down there on the list with playing a game of Bejeweled at that point. I'm thinking preserving the battery for things like the flashlight app might have been wise, but I'm no mountain climber!
But I digress, you've got to hand it to this guy, he somehow climbed out of the crevasse, and crawled back a significant distance to his tent. After using satellite technology to send a SOS text to the rest of his team who were two days away from reaching him, he does the next logical thing, posts a plea for help on....wait for it....facebook!
What was the title of this post? "bad shape, need help". Ya think?! I have lots of friends on facebook and I often catch up on my newsfeed while waiting to pick up my son in car line. Can you imagine scrolling through your newsfeed to find a friend of yours posts a plea for help from a peak in the Himalayans? So you are thinking something like "well, if you had posted 5 minutes ago, when my phone had more than 10% battery power before videoing this idiot in front of me in car line, I could have reached out to that Nepalese foreign exchange student, who I'm friends with on facebook that attended my highschool 20 years ago, whose father is a sherpa on Mount Lohtse, oh wait, no, he died in that avalanche...hmmm guess I will just go back to playing Words With Friends"
Here is the link to his video. If you suffer from virgin ears and are offended by the f-bomb, this is not a video for you: Facebook Link to Dr. All's Video
Now that I have you all wondering what happened next, the rest of the story doesn't get any more logical. After putting even more lives at risk to rescue his dumb ass off that mountain in a helicopter, he is taken to an intensive care unit at a hospital in Katmandu. So you are thinking, finally this guy will come to his senses and do what most logical human beings would do, stay to recuperate in the hospital. Well, you would be wrong. He checked himself out of the hospital, against doctor's orders, and decided to check himself into a Katmandu hotel instead. I guess the mints placed on the pillows of the ICU weren't up to his standards. Granted, I cannot speak to the living conditions of a hospital intensive care unit in Katmandu but it seems that they would have significant practice at saving the lives of these dumb people and it would be preferable to most hotels in Katmandu, but what do I know?
So my suggestion to you professor is this...the next time Katmandu calls, hang up. Or most likely it will be your dead body they will be pushing off the main trail to join the body of University of Louisville graduate, Francys Arsentiev who sadly ran out of oxygen (not.making.this.up) on Everest in 1998. Or just quit drinking the water, as perhaps it is something in the water at institutions of higher learning in Kentucky?
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